Friday, May 26, 2006

I'm out bitches!

I'm taking the next week off work. That means no posts and witty insight for you interweb friends of mine. I know, it sucks...there there. Don't cry.

I'm going to be going to rock shows and playing poker and sleeping late.

Anyway as a bon voyage treat here's something fun about everybody's favorite world's oldest pop star. Directly lifted from Heckler Spray

Jesus ‘Not Mad’ At Madonna For Crucifixion Stunt

There were three very distinct reactions when Madonna wheeled out her giant glittery cross, put on a thorny hat and crucified herself during a concert on her tour earlier this week.

Christian groups got all angry at Madonna for seemingly taking the piss out of Jesus during the show, while the majority of sensible people saw it as a welcome respite - it is, after all, the first Madonna publicity stunt for ages that didn't involve seeing an old lady rolling about the floor with her fanny hanging out. But what did Jesus think of Madonna's stunt?

He's OK with it, apparently, and not mad at Madonna at all. That's according to Madonna, at least.

Madonna is a woman fully in control of her public image. She knows that when she falls off a horse, horsey groups will be outraged. She knows that when she marries a fat mockney who couldn't direct traffic, she'll look more creative and brilliant and more in control, and she knows that when she has a hernia operation, everyone will realise how old she is and feel vaguely repulsed every time she come on TV wearing her gynotard. OK, maybe not that last one.

So of course Madonna knew that by singing a song while being crucified on her tour, all sorts of religious groups would flip their wigs in an explosion of outrage, before turning the other cheek like good Christians. Already, various churchy leaders have described Madonna's stunt as "dangerous," "an abuse," and "offensive". But it's OK, Madonna says, because Jesus has given it his go-ahead:

"I don't think Jesus would be mad at me and the message I'm trying to send. Jesus taught we should love thy neighbour."

Quite what loving thy neighbour has got to do with a middle-aged woman singing a rubbish song on a cross is beyond us, but we haven't really read The Bible in a while. And the message that Madonna was sending probably wasn't what you thought - a kind of "Look at me! I'm still as famous as I used to be, honest! Don't make me get my minge out again!" message, but an appeal to encourage the audience to donate to Aids charities.

Apparently, while Madonna was singing on the cross, images of poverty were shown on giant screens accompanied by some ticking numbers to represent the 12 million African Aids orphans. But the fact that the 'message' needs to be explicitly explained, while Madonna monging about on a giant cross doesn't probably gives some idea of how effective it is.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

4 Concerts in 15 Days

I'm seeing 4 shows in 15 days. It all started on Saturday May 20th at the Hammerstein Ballroom in NYC. I took my 13 year old son and his friend to see Avenged Sevenfold (These guys^^) and Coheed and Cambria.

It was loud. I wore ear plugs. I know, I'm old. Both bands and the opener 18 Visions rocked pretty hard. A lot of loud guitars, decent songs, but not my particular cup of tea.

The audience was 80% highschool kids, 19% college kids, and 1% dads. I was trying to aviod being sucked into the crowd of sweaty high school boys by standing at the back of the floor near the stairs where you would go to get backstage.

This one kid comes over to the stairs and talks to the security guard. He obviously was looking for the bathroom and was obviously wasted. The guard pointed to the other stairs where the bathrooms were. The kid put his hand over his mouth and then spewed all over the stairs. Every person who came out of backstage from that point on had to step in puke. Glad I wasn't backstage for this one.

Next up is Bullet For My Valentine at Starland Ballroom on Sunday the 28th. Another show for my son and a friend. Starland is a small club here in Jersey that gets national acts. I think it's about 1,500 capacity, very small. Gonna need the ear plugs for this one too.

Then June 1st and 3rd it's Pearl Jam at the Meadowlands. That's more my speed. They rock and are one of those bands who are a million times better live than they are on record. Plus they do long shows and they always chnge their set list from night to night. Usually they do at least two encores of about 5-6 songs each. I can't wait because their new album rocks.

Social Distortion has announced soem tour dates for this summer, hopefully they'll make an east coast swing so I can catch them.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

I smell anorexia.

Punk girl #1: You know what I smell whenever I pass by this store?
Punk girl #2: Heh, what?
Punk girl #1: Anorexia.

--In front of Abercrombie, 5th Ave

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Somehow I Don't Think So

Martha Stewart listens to her own channel on Sirius. Ok.

Martha Stewart listens to NPR on Sirius. Ok.

Martha Stewart listens to BBC news on Sirius. Ok.

Martha Stewart listens to Bloomberg on Sirius. Ok.

Martha Stewart rolls with the homies on Shade 45 on Sirius, Eminem's channel where it's all hip hop all the time. I don't think so.

Although how cool would it be to see her smoking a giant spliff and rolling down the streeet in a big Cadilac convirtible with Snoop listening to Gin And Juice?

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Overheard in NYC

This site is full of whacky stuff overheard on the streets of NYC check it out.

Here are some samples:

Man: Have you ever heard a man call his penis a gonzo?
Girl: No, but my boyfriend used to call his the Cookie Monster.
Man: Well, by the way you smell you should start calling your cooch Oscar the Grouch

--Times Square

Overheard by: FuzzyWuzzy

Guy #1: I'd totally hit that.
Guy #2: Dude, I'd hit that so hard whoever could pull me out would become the King of England.

--College Walk, Columbia University

Overheard by: King Arthur

Tourist girl #1: You stand in front of me..and you stand in back of me.
Tourist girl #2: Why?
Tourist girl #1: You guys are my stab buffer. I'm just taking the necessary safety precautions.

--Times Square

Girl: Did you just say "jubble"? That can't be a real word.
Guy: It's like, silent onomatopoeia.
Girl: There's no such thing as silent onomatopoeia. The very definition of the word "onomatopoeia" contradicts silence.
Guy: Well, it's like the sound that boobs would make if they made sound. They'd go "jubble, jubble, jubble."
Girl: I'm afraid I'm going to have to smack you now. Seriously.

--13th & 3rd


Teen girl: Hey, I'm a Scientologist.
Tom Cruise: Oh, really? What echelon are you in?
Teen girl: [awkwardly quiet] Uh... number three?
Tom Cruise: Exactly.

--Mission: Impossible III gala premiere, TriBeCa Film Festival, BMCC

Overheard by: mademoiselle schaeffer

Monday, May 08, 2006

He IS Rock and Roll

There are a few poeple who ARE rock and roll. Elvis was one. Slash is one. and Keith Richards is one.

He's 62 and fell out of a coconut tree.

You wish you were Keith. Or at least I do.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Social Distortion Working On New Album

I love this fucking band! Their last album was insanely good. If you don't know Social D do yourself a favor and take a listen.


Social Distortion are already back in the studio preparing to record their follow-up to 2004's "Sex, Love And Rock 'n' Roll". It is scheduled for release in late 2006 or early 2007 via TimeBomb Recordings and will be their first album with new bassist Brent Harding. He is the replacement of John Maurer, who has been a member of the band since their second album "Prison Bound," left before the release of their latest album and was replaced by Operation Ivy/Rancid's Matt Freeman (

Monday, May 01, 2006