Fuck, Marry, Kill Ladies Edition

Ok, girls by request of Miss Indy here you go:

Michael Moore

Dick Cheny

Mike Tyson

Fuck, Marry, Kill

You pick one of these people to fuck, one to marry one to kill. Here are your choices:

Bea Arthur (thanks to IndyGirl for getting me thinking about Bea)
Aunt Bea
Star Jones (I ran out of Bea's)

Weekend Plans

OK I started the weekend early last night by seeing the new Star Wars movie. I'm not a huge fan, but I have seen all of the movies in the theatre (yes I'm old). I'd give the new one a 9 out of 10 interms of Star Wars movies, 7 out of 10 as a regular movie. Lots of light saber fights, space fights and moves pretty quickly. A bunch of shocking scenes.

Tonight (Friday) I'm going to See Velvet Revolver and Hoobastank in an outdoor ampitheatre. It's raining here, so I'm glad I have seats under the roof. Oh yeah I was able to snag VIP tickets which means real good seats, excellent parking and VIP tent before the show.

Tomorrow taking the younglings to see Sum41 with Unwritten Law and A Static Lullaby. That one is in a club here that holds about 2,000 people, no seats. Should be fun. Clucb shows always the best!

Hopefully Sunday we'll open the pool. Maybe it'll warm up soon.

Back from VEGAS!

Ok I was there for work, I was co-chairing a seminar so I had a lot of work to do and only went out a little. Some observations about Sin City:

1) The new Wynn Hotel is complete chessey crap.
2) If you go to vegas when there's a big boxing match you'll see some shit. I saw a guy in a full length fur coat. It was 96 degrees out.
3) If you want real good authentic Mexican food and the best margaritas ever go to Diego in the MGM. I was there 5 times in 5 days.
4) The monorail makes travel much easier. No more half hour tips down the strip.
5) The Hilton sucks as a hotel. I don't thnik they've changed anything since Elvis was there.
6) The cab line at the airport will be long. Spring for the $40 and take a limo. The cab is going to cost you $20 anyway.
7) If you're over 25 you'll feel really old at the Hard Rock Hotel.
8) One word: CHEETAH'S.

VEGAS!

I'm off to Vegas for "work". Be back the middle of next week. While I'm gone check out My cool music site. I'm looking for staff reviewers, so if you like rock music of any kind shoot me a message on the site's messageboard.

What's the longest you've gone without sex

A friend of mine, who is married, has not had sex in 5 months. I thought that was a rather long time, especially for someone who is married.

What's the longest you've ever gone without?

I think my longest was like three weeks.

Cell Phones & SUVs

Why does the woman who drives slow and all over the road in front of me because she HAS to be on her cell phone every second of the day also have to drive the world's biggest SUV?

I hope gas goes up to $5.00 a gallon just so these assholes have to pay $200 to fill up their giant shit mobiles.

Pope Cards all the rage

John Paul trading card sells for $8,100

Tue May 3, 1:58 PM ET

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Of all the athlete trading cards on the U.S. market today, the most valuable is not that of baseball great Barry Bonds or basketball star Shaquille O'Neal but noted skier and outdoorsman Karol Wojtyla -- the late
Pope John Paul II.
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Beckett Media, whose pricing guides are the acknowledged arbiters of value for collectible trading cards, said on Tuesday a limited-edition Pope John Paul II from the 2005 World Treasures line of card maker Topps has sold for $8,100 (4,280 pounds).

The Topps series includes other historical figures like Czar Paul I and King Frederick the Great, though their cards are trading for around $3,000. All the cards in the series have etchings of the figures' autographs.

In comparison, Beckett said, regular cards depicting Barry Bonds, who is contending for baseball's all-time home run record, have never sold for more than $1,200.

The market for John Paul collectibles heated up dramatically after his early-April death. Thousands of people queued up last week in
Vatican City for the last run of euro coins bearing the late pontiff's image.

Here's one of my worst nightmares

Well, Here's Your Trouble Right Here, Sir...

Wed Apr 27,10:41 AM ET

BANGKOK (Reuters) - Doctors found around 50 maggots in the ears of an 84-year-old Thai man after he went to hospital complaining of an itch.

Wednesday's Nation newspaper said Anan Temtan, who lives in the tsunami-hit southern resort island of Phuket, had used cotton buds to relieve the itching, but had scratched so hard his eardrums ruptured and started bleeding.

'We believe flies might have gone inside his ears to lay eggs, which hatched into larvae and caused the itching,' said Somsak Nonthasri, the doctor who treated him.

Somsak, who used tweezers and a small suction device to remove the maggots, said Anan would be kept in for observation for a while to make sure no more eggs hatched."

Freaks or Attention Whores? You decide.

Lithuanian Freak/Attention Whores Arvydas (R) Gaiciunas and his sister Diana, seen here shortly before starting their world record attempt in Palanga, emerged from a block of ice after spening a totla of 63 hours and 31 minutes in deep freeze.

They beat Freak/Attention Whore David Blaine's prvious record for being in a block of ice.

What the hell is the point of this other than to get attention? Do these people somehow make money off of these stunts?? I don't get it.

New all-in one Sex Plaza

So now you can pick up some new sneakers, grab a double Latte and a Whore all at the same time. Wow those Hungarians sure now how to make things convienent!

BUDAPEST (Reuters) - The Hungarian Interior Ministry looks set to allow prostitutes to tout for business in shopping malls, local media reported Tuesday.

The ministry is thinking of allowing dedicated shopping centers where prostitutes could strike deals for sex as long as they move to a place of their own to carry out the transaction, the daily Nepszabadsag said.

"There is nothing intrinsically wrong legally with an entertainment center without gratification," the newspaper quoted from a letter the ministry sent to the businessman who proposed to set up an "all-in-one" sex plaza.

Hungary allows local governments to set so-called "zones of patience" for the country's up to 20,000 prostitutes, but no municipality has done so yet.

What's wrong with kids today?

What's wrong with kids today??? Everyone knows it's not worth it to counterfeit anything smaller than a twenty!


School Kids Caught Counterfeiting Dollars

SEATTLE (Reuters) - A 12-year-old Seattle school student and his buddies were caught after counterfeiting $20 in one-dollar bills that were circulated among the students and used in the cafeteria to buy food, school officials said on Friday.

"On Monday, our lunchroom staff was counting the till at the end of the day and noticed that there was a dollar bill that looked a little bit different," said Seattle School District spokeswoman Patti Spencer.

The next day, a sixth-grade student who offered a fake dollar to buy beef jerky led school officials to a fellow sixth-grader who had made the money using a computer and a printer. Those two and another friend had also passed the counterfeit dollar bills onto other students.

The school's assistant principal notified the Seattle Police Department, which recovered eight of the counterfeit bills, said Seattle Police Department spokeswoman Deborah Brown.

Police are still investigating and will forward the results to a local prosecutor, Brown said.

The three boys received a stern lecture and were suspended for five days, Spencer said.

The U.S. Secret Service, which is responsible for investigating counterfeit crimes, said on its Web site that counterfeiting U.S. currency is a crime punishable by a fine or imprisonment of up to 15 years, or both.

Gere exposes his secret

Now we know how he won Win, Lose Or Kick Ass!

With a little help from his friend.

Don't People Have To Work Anymore?

Dude! WTF?????

Maybe Dungeons & Dragons Wasn't So Bad

I remember when geeks would just get pissed at each other and storm out of their mother's basement when D&D went wrong. Now they're stabbing each other.

Somebody give these guys a ball and make them go outside.

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Shanghai online game player stabbed to death a competitor who sold his cyber-sword, the China Daily said Wednesday, creating a dilemma in China where no law exists for the ownership of virtual weapons.

Qiu Chengwei, 41, stabbed competitor Zhu Caoyuan repeatedly in the chest after he was told Zhu had sold his "dragon saber," used in the popular online game, "Legend of Mir 3," the newspaper said a Shanghai court was told Tuesday.

"Legend of Mir 3" features heroes and villains, sorcerers and warriors, many of whom wield enormous swords.

Qiu and a friend jointly won their weapon last February, and lent it to Zhu who then sold it for 7,200 yuan (US$870), the newspaper said.

Qui went to the police to report the "theft" but was told the weapon was not real property protected by law.

"Zhu promised to hand over the cash but an angry Qui lost patience and attacked Zhu at his home, stabbing him in the left chest with great force and killing him," the court was told.

The newspaper did not specify the charge against Qiu but said he had given himself up to police and already pleaded guilty to "intentional injury."

No verdict has been announced.

More and more online gamers were seeking justice through the courts over stolen weapons and credits, the newspaper said.

"The armor and swords in games should be deemed as private property as players have to spend money and time for them," Wang Zongyu, an associate law professor at Beijing's Renmin University of China, was quoted as saying.

But other experts are calling for caution. "The 'assets' of one player could mean nothing to others as they are by nature just data created by game providers," a lawyer for a Shanghai-based Internet game company was quoted as saying.

Can you say hypocrite?

Tom Delay can! He led the charge for congress to get involved in the Schiavo case to re-insert the feeding tube. He forgot to tell us that he pulled the plug on his dad back in 1988.

It's time for someone to remind the Republicans that they stand for less government and they should stay the hell out of our lives.

The worst movie I've ever seen

Chu Chu and the Philly Flash, 1981 starring Carol Burnett. It was so bad I walked out. That was the only time I walked out on a movie, and I've sat through some crap.

I watched Jersey Girl this weekend, and while it wasn't great, it wasn't puking up lunch bad. Hey it had Live Tyler and the stapler guy from Office Space! That's a plus in my book.

If something worth living for is worth dying for what about something not worth dying for?

Indygirl's blog. Check it.

Michael Jackson Conspiracy Victim???

Declaring himself "completely innocent" of child molestation charges, Michael Jackson said Sunday that he is the victim of a conspiracy and asked fans around the world to pray for him.

In an interview with the Rev. Jesse Jackson, the entertainer would not elaborate on his conspiracy belief, citing the court-imposed gag order that prevents him from discussing his trial in detail.

However, he said he believes he is just the latest of several "black luminaries" to be unjustly accused, citing former South African President Nelson Mandela and former heavyweight boxing champions Muhammad Ali and Jack Johnson as others.

How can we believe a guy who has done what he has done to his face and skin. He's a freak, and freaks do freaky stuff.

GUILTY!

A guy has to pay for not having sex!

An Italian woman whose angry husband refused for 7 years to have sex with her was awarded divorce damages by Italy's high court this week.



Francesco launched his "sex strike" in the early 1990s to punish his wife, Piera, for taking sides against him in a family dispute over money, according to details of the case reported by local media.

They bitterly separated in 2000 and Francesco, still convinced that she was responsible for the broken marriage, refused to make support payments demanded by Italian courts and repeatedly appealed against them.

But the highest court ruled that Francesco's sexual punishment did not fit the crime, and doomed Piera to perpetual frustration.

"The refusal of affection or sexual attention must constitute the blame for the separation," the court ruled.

For Piera, "satisfaction in life (was) impossible ... along with fulfilment of marriage in its deepest sense."

Beyond support payments, Francesco must pay court costs of several thousand euros. First time a guy has to pay for not having sex!